The Real Reason Batman and Robin Separated
by frog-luvr95
Summary: Stupidity beyond all reason.
1. Batman and Robin

Chapter One: The Real Reason why Batman and Robin Separated

One day, Batman was sitting in the Batcave with Robin. There was nothing of interest to do, so they just sat there in silence. Doing nothing.

"I'm bored," said Robin.

"I know," replied Batman.

"How?"

"How what?"

"How do you know?"

"Because I just do."

"You probably have some creepy Thought-Scanning device in here somewhere. I bet you do. Stop scanning my thoughtwaves! IT BURNS!"

"I don't have a thought scanner."

"Oh."

Silence.

"Can we order Chinese food?"

"No."

"But I'm hungry!"

"No."

"Pizza?"

"No."

"Burger King?"

"No."

"McDonalds?"

"No."

"Horseradish?"

"I didn't know that you could order horseradish. Oh, and _ew_, no."

Silence.

"I want a ping-pong table."

"Good for you."

"Can you buy me one?"

"No."

"Is that all you ever say?"

"No."

"Yes it is! Mainly, anyway."

"Wow."

"YAY! You said something different!"

Silence.

"I'm still hungry."

"God, you're annoying."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yeah-huh."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

Silence.

"Can we order pizza?"

"You're _really_ annoying."

"Fine, if that's the way you feel, I'm leaving!"

"Feel free. Exit's that way."

"No, seriously. I'm out."

"Go, get a move on."

Silence.

"Do I really have to leave?"

"Yep."

Silence, again.

"I'm hungry."

"Out. Now."

"You're mean._ God_."

"Good to know."

"So... uh... bye..."

"Toodles."

"Adios."

"Farewell."

"OK, bye."

"Get out. Seriously. Go."

"Jeez."

"Leave, or I might just scan you're thoughts."

Robin scurried out with his conveniently pre-packed suit case.


	2. Starfire and Blackfire

Chapter Two: The Real Reason Starfire has Red Hair

One day Starfire and Blackfire were sitting on two stools in the Grand Hall of the Tamaranian Castle.

"Sister, may I leave? We have been sitting here for nearly two hours doing absolutely nothing," asked Starfire.

"No," replied Blackfire nonchalantly.

"But _why_?"

"Because I said so."

"But I wish to go to the bathroom!"

"I said _no_."

"Sister, you are extremely annoying."

"Same goes for you."

"Fish face."

"Immature."

"Brat."

"Pig."

"Ugly."

"Mean."

"Revolting."

"Chlorbag."

"Gaspeth! How dare you!"

"Gaspeth?"

"It is new."

"Oh."

Silence.

"Sister, I still have to go to the bathroom!"

"Stay."

"But I have to tinkle!"

"No."

"You are a poo-face. Poo-face."

"Stupid-head."

"Sister, why must I stay here."

"Because it's fun watching you suffer."

"Meanie."

Silence.

"You know, it's actually so early in the story that you have black hair like I do! Copycat."

"I was born this way!"

"You should dye your hair."

"No! I look magnificent with black hair!"

"You look like a fish."

"Fish do not have hair."

"Good point. You still look weird."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too."

"You are so annoying! And I still have to tinkle."

"Just hold it."

"Fine."

Silence.

"Do you smell something?"

"Maybe."

"Starfire, did you just pee?"

"Maybe."

"You are so gross. Now I'm going to tell the entire kingdom you peed on a royal stool!"

Starfire was so embarrassed that her hair turned red.

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"I am leaving to Earth, and I shall not return!"

"You do that."


	3. Beast Boy and Bob

Chapter Three: The Real Reason Why Beastboy's Green

One day Beast Boy was sitting on his stoop with his friend, Bob.

"I'm bored. I want to do something amazing."

"I'm bored too. I want to do something more amazing than you."

"I bet you can't, 'cause I'm the most amazing dude on the planet! Ha, beat that!"

"I can sing the national anthom in Japanese."

"Oh. OK then. I guess I'm not the most amazing dude on the planet. I'm so _sad_!"

"Good for you."

"Aren't you going to show any sympathy?"

"No, not really."

"Nice. Real nice."

"Remind me why I'm friends with you again?"

"Because I'm the only person who can stand you."

"No you're not."

"Are too."

"Are not."

"Are too."

"Are not."

"Are too."

"Are not."

"Are too."

"Are not."

"Are too."

"Are not."

"Are too."

"I hate you."

"I hate you too."

Silence.

"What were talking about again?"

"Not the faintest."

Silence.

"Wait! I think that I can do something more amazing than you can!"

"And that would be...?"

"I can change colors!"

"OK, did your brain just, like, melt out through your ears or something?"

"I am Chameleon Boy!"

"No. You're just stupid."

"You're mean."

"Thanks for the compliment."

"Welcome."

"You still didn't change colors."

"I know. I'm _concentrating_."

"Oh."

Silence.

"You look like you're about to spontaneously combust. Either that, or you just _really_ have to go to the bathroom."

"I'm... _CONCENTRATING_!"

"OK. You didn't have to yell."

"Sorry."

Silence.

"OMG OMG OMG! You're, like, turning green!"

"Cool!"

Beast Boy was now green with green hair.

"And your ears... their pointy!"

Beast Boy's ears wre now pointy.

"Awesomeness."

"Dude, you're still not cooler than me."

"Really now?"

"Yeah."

"This sucks."

"Yeah."

"Dude, how do I change back?"

"Not the slightest."

"I hate you."

"Wonderful."

"Fine, if that's the way you feel, I'm going to San Fransisco to meet four other teens who accept me for who I am! And we'll save people and live in a giant T-shaped tower and we'll be called the Teen Titans and I'll be able to be green and play videos and eat tofu in peace!"

"Fascinating."

"Aw, you just ruined the moment, stupid!"

"Amazing."

"Dude, will you stop saying one-word sentences?"

"Maybe."

"God, you're annoying," said Beast Boy. He packed up his bag and left.

"Sucker."


	4. Raven and Trigon

Chapter Four: The Real Reason why Raven Left Azarath

One day, Raven was walking home from her School of Death and Destruction. She was pondering how she was going to explain the day to her father. He always asked her. And she always hated it. So for the past few months, she had been using one-word answers and then running up to her room and Demon Messaging her friends on the computer. She got home and opened the door.

"Honey! So glad to see you home!" squealed Trigon.

Raven sighed. "Hello, Daddy."

"So, how was your day?"

"Exciting."

"Oh, that's _wonderful_! Tell me, what did you do in Deathology?"

"Mr. Evilness showed us how to disect a dead rat."

"That's great, Snuggle-Bunny!"

"Daddy, I told you never to call me that."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Cutie-Face!"

"That, too."

"Flippity-Floppity-Poo?"

"No, Daddy."

"Pookie-Pie?"

"No, Daddy."

"Wussy-Mussy?"

"No, Daddy."

"Honey?"

"Let's stick we that, Daddy."

"OK, Sunggle-Bunny."

"_Da-a-a-ad!_"

"Oops."

"Daddy, I'm tired of being treated like a child!"

"How am I treating you like a child?"

"Because... you just _do_, is all!"

"No, I don't."

"Yes, I do."

"No, I don't."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, I do."

"No, I don't."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, I do."

"No, I don't."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, I do."

"No, I don't."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, I do."

"No, I don't."

"Daddy! Yes you do!"

"Snuggle-Bunny, I gave you a Laptop of Doom, a Cellphone of Torture, and a Credit-Card of Horror. What more do you want from me?"

"Your respect!"

"Gaspeth! How dare you insult my respectiveness of my own _daughter_!"

"Gaspeth?"

"It's new."

"Oh."

Silence.

"Daddy, I've been thinking."

"Yes?"

"Well, I've come to a decision..."

"Yes?"

"That I want to get a tattoo."

"WHAT?"

"Well, I -"

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! GO TO YOUR ROOM!"

"Dad, I'm too old for this! I'm going to Earth!"

"DON'T YOU DARE -"

It was too late. Raven had created a portal and jumped into it before Trigon could say another word.

One of Trigon's servants came up to his feet.

"Master, has Raven just gone to Earth because you didn't let her get a tattoo?"

"Yeah."

"Sir, shouldn't you have tried to stop... oh, never mind."

Silence.

"Does this mean that I can have her room?"

"No, sir."

"Dang."


	5. Cyborg and His Mullet

Chapter Five: The Real Reason why Cyborg is Bald

Author's Note: Sorry about the last chapter. The 'No I don't's and 'Yes I do's were supposed to be 'No I don't's and 'Yes you do's. Minor typo!

One day, Cyborg was eating at a restaurant. He had a mullet.

"Dude, what's wrong with your hair?" asked a young waiter.

"Nothing. Got a problem?" replied Cyborg.

"Nope. Just asking."

"Oh."

Silence.

Then a pretty, young waitress passed the young waiter. He was so busy watching her that he didn't notice when a woman holding the hand of a toddler wearing a beanie and overalls passed. The toddler hit the waiter's leg, knocking him over. The pasta spilled all over Cyborg's head.

"Oh, no! My mullet is ruined! I'll have to shave it off!"

And that's how Cyborg's bald.

Author's Note: This chapter was so short because I don't particularly care for Cyborg. He's stupid. Stupid-head.


	6. Robin and a Random Cat

Chapter Six: The Real Reason Robin Hates Cats

One day Robin was walking down the street, when he spotted a tabby cat wandering around.

"Aw, look at the little kitty!" Robin leaned down, and, against his better judgement, tried to pet the stray cat.

"_Hiss_!" hissed the cat. It leapt up and began clawing at Robin's face.

"Ow, ooh, oh - geroffameh!"

_"Hiss_!"

"Argh! Ow! Owie owie ow!"

"_Chaaaa_!"

"You must die, seemingly-harmless creature!"

Wham.

"_HISSSSS_I"

"Argh, the pain! The unbelievable pain! IT BURNS! IT BURNS!"

"_Chaaaa_!"

"Bad kitty! Ow ow ow ow ow ow! Noooo! NOOOO!"

"_Meowwww_!"

Wham. Bam. Smash.

"DIE!"

"_HISS_!"

And so the battle of man and cat began.

"ARGH! What the heck is wrong with the demented cat!"

"_MEOWWWW_!"

"Oh, the pain!"

"_HISSSS_!"

"My kidneys! My beautiful, beautiful kidneys!"

"_Chaaaa_!"

"My spleen! It's leaking! MY SPLEEN IS LEAKING!"

"_MEOWWW_!"

"No, not the hair! Or the ribcage! Or the nose! Or the shoulders! No, not my spleen AGAIN!"

"_Hisss_!"

"You are a deformed, mental cat!"

"Meow."

"A deformed, mental _female_ cat. Sorry."

"Ow! What was that for - NO! NOT MY PANCREAS! IT BURNS EVEN MORE! I CAN'T HANDLE THE PRESSURE!"

"Chaaaa."

"Yes, I know."

"Hiss?"

"Yep."

"Meow."

"Do not."

"Meow."

"Do not."

"Meow."

"Do not."

"Meow."

"Do not."

"Meow."

"Do not."

"Meow."

"Do not."

"Meow."

"Do not."

"Meow."

"Do not."

"Meow."

"Do not."

"Meow."

"YOU ARE AN EVIL CAT!"

The cat, looking offended, leapt off of him and went to go pee in some shrubs.

"Cats..." muttered Robin. And with that, he set off. Again. Away from Batman and the Batcave. Yeah. I know.

Away. Forever. Never coming back. Ever. Not ever in a million bazillion kajillion years. Ever.Nope. Never.


	7. Beast Boy and The Grass

Chapter Seven: The Real Reason Beast Boy is so Hyper

One day, Beast Boy was eating grass in the park. Passerbys stared in bewilderment at a green boy sitting in the middle of the park, nonchalantly munching on grass.

A boy named Mikey and a girl named Melissa walked up to him.

"Why are you eating grass?" they asked.

"Cause."

"Cause why?"

"Cause I said so."

"But it's _icky_."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"You two are stupid."

"We hate you."

Silence.

"But you never told us why you were eating grass!"

"Cause I am."

"You're gross."

"Stupid."

"Freak."

"Poopy-heads."

"Gaspeth!"

"Gaspeth?"

"It's new."

"Is not. It's used in a couple of chapters before this one."

"Oh."

Beast Boy, Mikey, and Melissa sat there. Mikey and Melissa were fuming.So they decided to play a nasty trick.

They snuck a bottle of conveinently located fertilizer behind the backs to where Beast Boy was sitting.

"Look, a thingahoozit!"

"Ooooh, where!"

The split second Beast Boy turned his head, Mikey and Melissa poured some fertilizer on to the grass Beast Boy was eating. They thew the empty can of fertilizer into a trashcan, and began whistling innocently.

"I don't see no thingamahoozit!"

"Oops, our mistake."

Beast Boy returned to eating grass.

But suddenly he started choking.

Mikey and Melissa grinned malevolently.

Beast Boy gasped, closed his eyes, and fell backwards.

Then came the dreaded Silence.

"Do you think he's dead?" asked Mikey.

Then, out of nowhere, a fart erupted directlty from Beast Boy's scrawny butt.

This was no ordinary fart, however. This fart cracked the Earth in two.

"OK, that didn't go as planned."

Silence.

"YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Beast Boy shot up into the sky, hit an airplane, and came back down. His pupils were dialated. Mikey and Melissa step back. Melissa screamed.

"I like milkshakes I like blueberry milkshakes do you like blueberry milkshakes cause I sure do I like applesauce and birds I can change into a bird but not applesauce but I wish I could cause then I could eat myself but then that might hurt I like blueberry milkshakes so maybe I like blueberry applesauce cause I like pianos and smoothies but not piano smoothies but I like animals and I can change into them I can change into a bear and a goose and a rat and a skunk but I can't change into a coconut because coconuts aren't animals and I like orange juice do you like orange juice cause I sure do I like ducks and pancakes but not duck pancakes -"

"MIKEY, YOU IDIOT!"


	8. Robin and Starfire and Kibble

Chapter Eight: The Real Reason Starfire and Robin are Made for Each Other

One day, Starfire was sitting all alone in her room. Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and in burst a clown wearing a mask.

"I hate clowns! You must die, ugly child-party entertainer! Little children have nightmares because of you!" Her eyes turned green, and she shot the clown with her eye beams. It burnt a hole in the clown's costume. The clown looked at her frantically, and screamed something indistinguishable. Their face turned red, and they stammered, "But it's Robin! You gotta believe me!" The clown wiped away some of its face makeup to reveal Robin's face.

Just then, in burst Robin. "You must die, Robin-impersonator!" Robin threw a freezedisk at him. The clown froze. Robin barreled into the clown, knocking him out the window. "OBLITERATE ALL CLOWNS! Oh, hey, Star. You OK?"

"Yes, Robin. I am fine."

"Oh. OK."

Awkward silence.

"Robin, why did that clown try to molest me?"

"No clue. Although, you have to admit, that was pretty random."

"Yes, I agree."

"Starfire?"

"Yes?"

"Can I have a kibble?"

"What?"

"A kibble. They taste good."

"OK..."

"Just joking."

"Robin, you have the worst jokes."

"Ugh! I am offended!"

"But really, Robin. A kibble? My earwax could have done something better."

"Star, you... you didn't have to be so harsh!"

Silence.

"I apologize."

"Really."

"No. But I do have a kibble!"

"_Gulp_... mmm... tastes like wet dogs!"

"Maybe I should try one myself... _Choke, gasp_!"

Starfire clutched at her throat. Her face turned blue, as did her lips.

"Starfire, are you OK?"

Starfire rolled off the bed and began having small spasms. Her left eye twitched.

"Oh, right, I guess I should perform CPR." Starfire waved blindly in the air.

Robin bent down, and was about to perform CPR when he realised it was the Heimlich Manuvere, not CPR that he was supposed to be doing. He yawned, propped Starfire up, who had now stopped moving altogether, and squeezed her stomach. _Squeeze squeeze squeeze_. A kibble shot through the wall.

Starfire gasped for air.

"Now time for CPR!" He breathed into he mouth, and her chest rose up and down.

Starfire began breathing again.

"Robin, thank smuglinorfgoblubdikardishmardurdoklercoo, you saved me!"

Starfire pulled him down and kissed him roughly. They fell on to the bed, their lips still locked.

Beast Boy walked in. "I heard choking noises, is everyone - gaspeth... that's pretty much unexpected. I better go find Robin's longlost brother in the clown suit..."


	9. Titans and The Internet

Chapter Nine: The Real Reason Teen Titans Never Use the Internet

Author's Note: This chapter is kind of different from the others. But I decided it was time for a change. Got a problem, don't read. No flames, please review!

One day it was a Wednesday. None of the TItans had ever liked Wednesdays. Wednesday was the day when Robin's parents died. Wednesday was the day Cyborg became a half-human technology man. Wednesday (or Gorbalshmorg on Tamaran) was the day that war broke out on Starfire's home planet. Wednesday was the day Raven was first beat by her father. So, as you can see, nobody really appreciated the value of Wednesday. Currently, everyone was sitting on the couch like a bunch of couch potatoes. Cyborg was in the middle, and had the remote.

"Today we are going to learn how to make a Flaming Chicken Souffle--"

"Crikey, is that a wildebeast? No, not my kidneys! NO! NOOOO--"

"We gonna learn how to catch us a trout today--"

"Welcome back to Quiz Monkey! Jerry, you can win--"

"Enrique, no! I am still in love with your evil half brother, Marcus--"

"There's only enough room in this town for one of us pickles--"

"And see, you just stick the straw right up there, and voila, there you have it--"

"Ken... _I_ am your second cousin twice removed on your mother's side.."

"Ooh, ooh, keep this one on! It's Clash of the Planets! Ooh!" yelled Beast Boy.

Cyborg shrugged. "Yo, man, can we do somethin' else? I think my eyeballs are leaking. Come on, man, we've been doin' this for three days straight! We haven't eaten, or slept, or even gone to the bathroom-- hey, what's that smell?"

"Well, when you gotta go, you gotta go," said Beast Boy. His face turned red.

"Eww..." chorused the others.

"Why don't we do the surfing of the net?" asked Starfire.

"Eh, it's better than nothing..." said Cyborg, switching off the TV. Beast Boy's ears drooped.

"But we were getting to the good part!" he argued.

"Beast Boy, you peed in your pants. Don't you think that's enough TV?" asked Robin.

Beast Boy shook his head. "No."

Ignoring this comment, Robin got up and crawled (from the lack of use of his legs) to the computer. The others followed him.

They all sat down in front of a convienently located computer screen, and clicked on Google. A Google screen popped up.

"What should I type in?" asked Robin.

"Stuff to do," said Beast Boy.

Robin typed it in, and up popped over 12,943,283,109,198,192,784,293,128,462,593,193,495 etc. answers. The Titans stared in awe.

"We'll be dead by the time we finish these," said Raven.

"Okay, I have an idea," said Cyborg. "How about I just close my eyes and point at a random link?" The others nodded in agreement.

Cyborg closed his eyes and pointed to a random link. It said, **FanFiction**.

"Let us do the checking out!" said Starfire brightly. Raven shuddered.

Robin clicked on the link, and up popped some categories. "OK, I'll just do what Cyborg did," he said. His finger landed on **Cartoons**. Robin clicked again. Up popped a list of cartoons. Robin scrolled down, and scanned the list of cartoons until something caught his eye.

"Teen Titans?!" he asked in bewilderment. Everyone sat, stunned.

"Should we, like, get paid or something?" asked Beast Boy.

Nobody answered.

Robin clicked on the link.

Up popped a list of several hundreds of pages. "Which story should I click on?" he asked. Starfire pointed to the first one. It was labeled, "Wuteva". Robin clicked on it. The first paragraph said:

**won day the titans were eetin dinnur wen al ov a scudden the alarm rang and robins lyk 'titans go!!!' and evry1 flew and ran and wuteva out da door... they got to da seen of da crym and it wuz cinderblock and he wuz distroyeng da mall and then he hit starfire and robins like 'noooooooooooooooooo' and he runs ova 2 star and hes lyk 'no i luv u star' and stars lyk 'i luv u 2' and robin kisd star and then she dide and then cyborg hit cinderblock wyth his sonik canoone and then cinderblock fell ova and crushed raven and den bb went and screemd 'noooooooooooooooo' and he ternd into a reely big thing and killed cinderblock and den he ran ova to raven and he went 'u cant diye on me cuz i luv u' and raven says 'im srry bb but its mi tyme...' and den raven dide and den bb killed cyborg cuz he thaut dat sinse he hit cinderblock raven dide and den robin went insayn and killed bb and den dey aresttd robin cuz he killed evry1... the end.**

Nobody moved. Nobody said anything.

"Wow..." whispered Beast Boy.

"That was..." Cyborg started.

"The most disgusting badly written grammarless peice of crap I have ever read..." finished Raven.

Starfire and Robin blushed furiously.

"Please, Raven, can we click on the next one?"

Raven nodded, and shoved Robin out of the way. She clicked on the next story which read, "Slash". The summary read, "This is a slash story."

"Anyone know what slash means?" asked Robin from the floor. Everyone shook their heads no.

The first paragraph went...

To be continued if you review!

Lurve, frog-luvr95.


	10. Raven and BB and Purple Finger Paint

Chapter Ten: The Real Reason Raven's Hair is Purple

Author's Note: I can't believe I got fourteen reviews. FOURTEEN FREAKING REVIEWS. Me wuves you guys! Oh, and to answer Artemis-Delilah-Avari's question about the slash: It was going to be Robin/Slade, Cy/RedX (haha! I am pretty darn good...), Star/Raven, and BB/Dr. Light (bwahahahaha! I am EVIL!) However, that will be a completely different chapter. Now, ONWARD! AGAIN!

One day Raven was sitting by a tree in Jump City Park. She had just escaped the wrath of her demonic father, who was enraged beyond all reason after she confessed that she was going to get a tattoo. Her hair was a weird-looking orangish color. Traveling through a magical portal from a comletely different solar system at lightspeed can do that to you. She was getting strange glances from people.

A boy named Mikey followed by a girl named Melissa (A/N: BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I am the master of evilnessishmentlythingamabobs!). They asked her, "How come your hair is orange?"

"Because I was traveling at lightspeed through a portal in a completely different solar system," she responded.

Melissa screamed to Mikey, "Maybe she's related to that freak with the green hair! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" They ran away crying.

_What freak with the green hair? _she wondered.

Just then, a freak with green hair came up to her.

"Have you seen two kids named Mikey and Melissa cause I saw them running past you and I wanted to know if they wanted a blueberry milkshake cause I like blueberry milkshakes and ducks and pancakes and I can turn into a duck and I tried to turn into a pancake but it hurt my brain and my spleen is leaking cause it hurt so much and--"

Raven slapped the freak with green hair. He shut up.

"Woah... I feel like I just ate fertilizer..." he said woozily.

"The kids just ran away..." she said. She twirled a strand of orangish hair around her finger.

"Hey, what's wrong with your hair?" he asked.

"Nothing," she responded in a monotone.

"Well, since both of our hair looks really disgusting, maybe we're soulmates!" he said.

Raven slapped him again.

"Yeesh. Hey, what's your name?"

"Raven."

"Cool."

Awkward silence.

"Well... do you wanna help me find some hair dye?"

Raven thought about it, decided she could use some herself, and they set off downtown.

Dowtown five seconds later...

"Wow, that was quick. And we didn't even have to move!" said the freak.

"Yeah. Say, what's _your_ name?" asked Raven.

"Beast Boy..." he said. Her eyes were so pretty... she must have pretty kidneys...

"Well, could you stop looking at me and follow my lead?"

Beast Boy snapped out of his kidney-enhanced trance.

"Oh, OK."

They walked to the Hair Dye Shop Place.

They walked inside.

Beast Boy, being the unlucky fellow he was, bumped into a yound child with purple fingerpaint on his hands.

"Come on!"

Raven quickly grabbed a box of brown hair-dye, as did Beast Boy.

"Raven, do you think that I should buy chesnut or chocolate?"

Raven turned around, but Beast Boy had gotten so close to her (naughty, naughty Beast Boy) that she bumped into him. He tripped over, and grabbed her head (stupid, stupid Beast Boy) to help him back up. The purple fingerpaint smeared all over her hair. Raven felt cold paint on her hair, and looked at Beast Boy's purple fingers. She tried to rub the paint off, but it had dried and was obviously not washable.

"Beast Boy, follow me," she said in a calm voice.

Beast Boy did as he was told, and followed her up to the rooftop on an incredibly high apartment building.

"Raven?"

"Yes, Beast Boy?"

"Are you gonna kill me now?"

"Sure as heck I am."

She punched him in the face, and knocked him fifty stories down.

Boom.

Raven grinned.


	11. Robin and A MiddleAged Woman

Chapter Eleven: The Real Reason Robin is Afraid of Middle-Aged Women

One day, or night, Robin was laying on his bed. He was just lying there. Doing nothing besides sleeping. Which is technically multitasking, but let's not go into that. Robin slept well, even though it was a freezing night and he only had a thin sheet over him.

In Robin's dream...

_"Oh, Robin, you are so muscular!" gushed Starfire, running a finger over Robin's huge muscles. They were picnicing on the beach, and Starfire was in an extremely small, tight bikini. Robin was in a speedo _(A/N: HAHA!)

_"Oh, yes, my muscles are unusually large, aren't they?" said Robin, flexing his biceps._

_"Ooh, Robin, you simply MUST let me cuddle up against you!" she cooed sudectively._

_"Why yes, you may," said Robin, grinning. Starfire curled up against him, tracing his enormous eight-pack with her finger._

_"Robin?"_

_"Yes, Starfire?"_

_"How come you're so damn SEXY?"_

_"Why, I eat ten dozen eggs every morning, and I work out a bazillion hours a day! _(A/N: Ooh, yes, very intelligent, Robin. What extravagant use of the English language...)_" replied Robin, making his gargantuan pecks flex up and down._

_Starfire giggled, and leaned up to kiss him when all of a sudden --  
_

_"Ack! Johnny, cover your eyes! This is innapropriate!" A middle-aged woman covered the eyes of her son, who looked to be around the age of seven or eight._

_"But MOMMY! I wanna see them kiss! It was getting to the good part!" he whined. Robin and Starfire just sat there in shock._

_"NO, JOHNNY! IT'S INNAPROPRIATE!" The middle-aged woman slapped Johnny's butt. Johnny squealed and ran over to their towel a ways away._

"HOW DARE YOU SHOW INTAMATE AFFECTION IN PUBLIC! YOU MAKE SMALL CHILDREN HAVE DIRTY IMAGES IN THEIR UNDEVELOPED MINDS!" screeched the middle-aged woman. Starfire squealed, and hid behind Robin.

_"Don't worry, Starfire! I'll protect you with my massive pecks!" Robin said._

_"Oh no you won't!" They middle-aged woman drew a pocketbook out of nowhere, and began repeatedly whacking Robin with it._

_"NOOO! IT BURNS OF MIDDLE-AGED WOMAN SMELLING THINGS!" Robin screamed. Starfire heard Robin screamed, and she screamed. The middle-aged woman heard Starfire screamed, and she screamed. The rest of the occupants on the beach heard their screams, and began screaming too._

_"Argh!"  
_

_"Ack!"  
_

_"Nooo!"_

_"Yaaah!"  
_

_"Waaah!"  
_

_"Ugh!"  
_

_Cries came from all around the beach. Robin got up, but it was too late. The woman's purse came in dangerously close contact with his head before--_

Snap Back to Reality! (A/N: Whoops, there goes gravity! Incase you didn't know, that was from Eminem's song... well, I can't remember exactly...)

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Robin awoke with a start, rolled off the bed, banged his head on the nightstand, and screamed. He was covered with sweat, and was tangled in his sheets.

"Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod..." he panted.

"There was no middle-aged woman..." he looked around at his dark bedroom.

"INNAPROPRIATE TEENS!" A middle-aged woman whacked him with a purse.

"NOOOOOOO! THE PAIN! THE PAIN! MY BRAINS ARE LEAKING! NOOOO!"

"Jeez, calm down, I was just leaving, said the middle-aged woman. Robin stared in terrorized fascination as she promptly walked to the window, and fell out. Robin did nothing. He said nothing.

Then he pinched himself. Nope, nothing.

"I am _never_ going mistake moldy tofu for barbequed chicken wings..." he said to himself. He got up, got in bed, and drifted back to sleep.

But not long after, he was hit in the head by a middle-aged woman with a purse. Johnny followed him, blowing raspberries at Robin.

"WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME!"

Author's Note: I have two new plots waiting to be written and posted, but only if I get twenty-one reviews... yes, that means you, you moron!


	12. Starfire and Morksplorg

Chapter Twelve: The Real Reason Robin Only Wears Red, Green, and Yellow

Author's Note: Sorry I haven't updated in so long; I've been swamped with school. So, to make it up to you, I'm updating three chapters at once. MWAHAHAHAHA!

One day Starfire was preparing food. Must I say more?

"Woah, dude!" Beast Boy poked the wobbling mass of a Tamaranian dish. It looked like a cross between a hedgehog and Jell-O. The dish, called "morksplorg," tottered dangerously on its plate. "Is this stuff _breathing_?" Beast Boy poked it again.

"Starfire..." Robin began, looking at the dish. "You... you're sure it's dead...?" The dish once again wiggled back and forth, like it was doing the Chicken Dance. "Star, I think that it's_ dancing_!" Robin backed up and dived behind the couch. Beast Boy looked at the entertaining flatware, and followed suit. The two heroes cowered behind the couch in terror. Cyborg and Raven watched this scene unfold from a good distance.

"You know, I think Robin's got a point. I think the morksplorg _is_ moving..." said Cyborg uncertainly.

"But it's just food," pointed out Raven. Cyborg looked at her. "Okay, yeah, it's not just food. But still, how much harm can morksplorg do?"

The morksplorg ate the refridgerator.

Starfire screamed, and Robin leapt out from behind the couch. "Don't worry, Starfire! I'll save you!" He whipped out his bo-staff.

The morksplorg digested his bo-staff.

Now Robin, Starfire, and Beast Boy were cowering behind the couch.

Cyborg decided it was boring watching all the action, and went to go recharge in his room.

Raven sighed. She conjured a spell of many magics and dark-things. It encased the morksplorg.

Silence.

Nothing.

"Well, this is boring," said Raven. The morksplorg wiggled.

It jiggled.

Waggled.

Wobbled.

And so on.

"I think it's gonna blow!" screamed Beast Boy. Raven, following her better instincts, dived behind the couch next to three of our favorite heroes.

Each Titan did something to protect themself. Starfire conjured a starbolt, and held that in front of her if any of the hedgehog Jell-O tried to suck out her brains with bendy straws or something. Beast Boy turned into a fly and buzzed to a dark corner of the ceiling. Raven cast a black wall of energy around her. Robin, being the brainless moron he is, didn't do what he should have done.

He didn't put his cape around himself.

He didn't take out any color-coded weapons.

He didn't throw wads of hairgel at the morksplorg.

He took out a frilly pink apron, held it up to the monster dish like some sort of peace offering, and screamed like a little girl.

But the morksplorg didn't do what anyone else expected it to do either.

It screamed and shrank away from the pink apron.

Then it blew up.

Boom.

Pieces of the greenish-blue Jell-O-y substance flew everywhere.

Except, of course, on Robin or his apron. Or the Titans hiding behind Robin and his apron.

"Robin, dude, I'm thankful and all of that crap, but where the heck did you get a _pink apron_ from?" asked Beast Boy. The other Titans looked at Robin quizzically.

"Uh... I... um..." Robin stammered. He glanced around the room like a rabid squirrel on sugar high. Or a startled deer in headlight. Whichever you prefer.

"I..." Robin didn't know what to say.

"Just spit it out already!" growled Raven.

"Okay, okay! I admit it! I LOVE THE COLOR PINK! I've always loved it! It's so... so... _pink_! And you know, pink isn't all that feminine! I have pink underwear and pink capes--"

"Woah, _way_ too much informatoin!" cried Beast Boy. Raven shuddered, but Starfire just blushed.

Then the dreaded, awful, terrible, incredibly horrifying silence.

Dun dun dun.

Then a little lightbulb pinged above Starfire's head.

"Hey, where did that lightbulb come from?" asked Raven. Robin and Beast Boy shrugged.

"OH, ROBIN! I HAVE A BRILLIANT I OF THE DEAS! WE SHALL PAINT YOUR ENTIRE TRAINING ROOM PINK SO THAT ALL THE PAPARAZZI IN THE UNIVERSE CAN SEE!" she exclaimed. Starfire grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, and dragged him to the training room. "Ooh, I have many i of the deas! We shall paint that wall magenta, and that wall hot pink, and that one--" the happy cries of Starfire could be heard fading as they entered.

"NOOOO! MY SECRET CANNOT BE REVEALED! NOOOOOOO!"

Back in the common room...

"So... what just happened?" asked Beast Boy.

"Not the slightest," replied Raven.

Silence.

"Hey, wanna makeout?"

Slap slap.

"Jeez, Rae, you didn't have to do it so hard!"

"That sounded wrong, Beast Boy."

Silence.

"So... what were we talking about again?"

"Once again, not the slightest."


	13. Robin and Tech Support

Chapter Thirteen: The Real Reason Robin Never Calls for Tech Support

The computer broke on a Wednesday. Wednesdays were never good days for the Titans. Blah blah, blahbity blahbity. Yada yada. Okay, I'm done.

"Guys, this is impossible! I can't fix this thing! And I'm the one who made it!" Cyborg snarled. He was splattered in grease and oil from the innards of the Titans' SC (Super Computer). This morning it wasn't turning on, and next thing they knew, it was dead.

"But friends, what shall we do? If Cyborg cannot do the fixing, who can?"

Silence.

"TECH SUPPORT!" everyone bellowed. Robin rushed to the phone, and dialed a number in.

"Hello...?" asked an Indian voice on the line.

"Yes, is this Tech Support?" asked Robin.

"Yes, it is! My name is Rahim, and I will help you. But may I ask, will you hold on for a moment?"

"Sure."

Silence.

Silence.

Too much silence.

Okay, this is boring.

45 minutes later...

"OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH!" screamed Robin.

"Hello, Tech Support. I am Rahim. How may I help you?"

"Yes, Rahim? I've been waiting for forty-five freaking minutes. Have you been sitting there the entire time?"

"Yes."

"WTF? I WAITED FOR NOTHING?"

"Yes, I believe so."

Silence.

"Rahim, can you help us fix our computer?"

"Yes, I most certainly can."

Silence.

"Well, can I have instructions?"

"Yes."

"Can you give them to me? Now?"

"I have to tinkle. Continue."

Swishing sounds could be heard on the other end.

"Rahim...?"

"Yes?"

"Did you... just... did you just pee on your chair?"

"Why yes, of course. I have a chair that's just like a bathroom. It has a poopie hole."

"That's disgusting. Why don't you just take a break?"

"What is this 'break' you speak of?"

"You know, take a break, stop working..."

"I still do not understand. This 'break,' shouldn't you be working during those hours?"

"Um, no. That's why it's a break. You take a break from work."

"But... but... my Shocky Monkey will shock me if I stop!"

"What's a Shocky Monkey?"  
screams of Rahim  
Electrocuting sounds, the screech of an ape, and the girlish screams of Rahim were heard on the other end.

"_That_ is a Shocky Monkey."

"Oh. Sounds painful."

Electrocuting sounds, the screech of an ape, and the girlish screams of Rahim.

"Yes, very much so."

Silence.

"Rahim?"

"Yes?"

"Where do you live?"

"In India, of course!"

Robin put down the phone.

"So, what happened?" asked Cyborg.

"I didn't get the directions."

"WHAT?" Cyborg screeched. "After all that? Nothing?"

"Nope. But I want a Shocky Monkey."


	14. Titans and Stupid Songs

Chapter Fourteen: The Real Reason I Never Try to Write Songfics

Author's Note: If you want to hum it, the songs are sung to the Titans Theme Song. Oh, and by the way, it's dedicated to Emma, who helped me think of the songs!

**The Limes and Vegetables Song**

**One day Robin was walking along the street**

**TEEN TITANS!  
**

**He got really beat up by a beet**

**  
TEEN TITANS!**

**Robin got real hurt by a veggie**

**No one knows how to fix his broken knee**

**Cause we're all afraid of vegetables!**

**TEEN TITANS GO!**

Doodoodoodoo, doodoodoodoodoodoodoodoo

**Starfire came to the scene of the crime**

**TEEN TITANS!**

She got hit in the face with a lime-- by a mime!  


**TEEN TITANS!**

Beast Boy got attacked by a cat

**Raven was kicked by an extra-large hat**

**Cyborg just died of old age!**

TEEN TITANS GO!

**Doodoodoodoo, doodoodoodoodoodoodoodoo**

**1234... limes and vegetables!**

**The Leaking Brains Song**

**One day Raven was reading a horror book**

**TEEN TITANS!  
**

**Beast Boy tried to be a really good cook**

**TEEN TITANS!  
**

**But we all know that he's not**

**He blew up Raven's book with one shot**

**And so Raven tried to fry his brains!  
**

**TEEN TITANS GO!**

**Doodoodoodoo, doodoodoodoodoodoodoodoo**

**Robin's brain was melted in the blast**

**TEEN TITANS!  
**

**Starfire rushed in when she heard a big CRASH!  
**

**TEEN TITANS!**

**She saw Robin spazzing out on the floor**

**She decided to preform CPR  
**

**And we all know what that resulted in!**

**TEEN TITANS GO!**

**Doodoodoodoo, doodoodoodoodoodoodoodoo**

**1234... leaking brains!**

**The Spastic Song**

**One day Cyborg was working on his baby**

**TEEN TITANS!**

**All of a sudden in crashed the navy**

**TEEN TITANS!**

**They asked Cyborg for a legal permit**

**The Colonel had a spastic fit**

**So they rushed him to the hospital!  
**

**TEEN TITANS GO!**

**Doodoodoodoo, doodoodoodoodoodoodoodoo**

**Cyborg was depressed so he jumped off a cliff**

**TEEN TITANS!  
**

**He ended up landing directly in a skiff!**

**A SKIFF'S A SMALL BOAT!**

**The navy arrested him for attempted suicide**

**They bandaged every bit of his hide**

**So now Cyborg's a depressed spastic mummy!  
**

**TEEN TITANS GO!**

**Doodoodoodoo, doodoodoodoodoodoodoodoo**

**1234... spasms!**

**The La Song**

**Lalalalalalalalalala**

**TEEN TITANS!  
**

**Lalalalalalalalalalalalala**

**TEEN TITANS!**

**Lalalalalalalala**

**Lalalalalalalala**

**Lalalalalalalalalala!**

**  
TEEN TITANS GO!  
**

**Doodoodoodoo, doodoodoodoodoodoodoodoo**

**Lalalalalalalalalala**

**TEEN TITANS!**

**Lalalalalalalalala**

**TEEN TITANS!**

**Lalalalalala**

**  
Lalalalalala**

**Lalalalalalalala**

**TEEN TITANS GO!**

Doodoodoodoo, doodoodoodoodoodoodoodoo

**1234... stupid songs! Or something like that, anyway. Hey, do you consider me insane? Cause I think I'm delusional. I keep seeing you follow me. STOP FOLLOWING ME, STALKER! You're a poopy-stalker-face. Poopy-stalker-face.**


	15. Beast Boy and Raven

Chapter Fifteen: The Real Reason Beast Boy Always Knocks

One day Beast Boy was bored. Oh so very, very bored. So he decided to bother Raven. Hint hint, nudge nudge, poke poke, etc.

Knock knock.

"No, Beast Boy, I'm not in the mood to play videogames, watch Rabid Squirrel Showdown II, or make reality-sized statues of Mel Gibson," she answered on instinct.

Beast Boy was slightly taken aback, but tried to get into her room.

It was locked.

"Okay, um... how about--"

_Bang_. He rammed into the door. Nothing happened.

"No, I don't want to hypothesize the destruction of all horseradish products."

"Or--"

_Wham._

"No, I don't want to watch you fantasize about getting a moped."

"What about--"

_Boom._

"Or run around in a lobster costume."

"Uh..."

_Ram._

Beast Boy was all out of ideas, and was drained of all his energy.

He gave one final attempt to barge in there.

He pinged it with his finger.

The door fell down.

Raven screamed.

Beast Boy screamed.

"BEAST BOY, I'M CHANGING!"

"GAH!"

Raven, without thinking, rammed into Beast Boy, pinning him against the wall.

"Beast Boy, if you so much as _think_ of barreling in here, I'll mash your face until--"

Beast Boy cut her off.

"Raven..."

"WHAT?"

"You... you're..."

"I'm what?!"

"You're naked, Rae!"

Raven froze. She looked down, then up at Beast Boy.

The last thing Beast Boy heard was, "**_BEAST... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY!!! YOU SHALL BE AVENGED!"_** before everything went black.

A while later...

Beast Boy groaned, and rubbed his head.

"Oh, God, what the heck happened?" He looked around at his surroundings. He was in the hallway, slumped against one of the walls. Oh, Lord, was his head throbbing like a rabid squirrel had just conked him over the head with a sledge hammer while having his face digested by sugar-high bunny-rabbits.

He got up, and went into Raven's room. Looking around, he saw nobody.

Silence.

He checked the corridors. The common room. The roof. The gym. And so on.

Nobody.

"GUYS!" he called. No answer.

Until a rabid squirrel conked him over the head with a sledge hammer while getting his face digested by sugar-high bunny-rabbits.

"I TOLD YOU I'D GET MY REVENGE!" screamed Raven. "MWAHAHAHAHA!"

Beast Boy mentally kicked himself for barging into her room in the first place, and screeched something that sounded, with all the bunnies on his face, something like this:

"DARN YOU, HORMONES, DARN YOU!"


	16. Starfire and Raven and Robin and BB

Chapter Sixteen: The Real Reason Starfire Only Goes to the "Mall" With Raven

One day, Starfire was bored. So she decided to go ask Raven to go to the "mall of shopping" with her.

"Raven?" Starfire knocked on her door.

"_Raven_?" Starfire knocked harder.

"**_Raven?_**" Starfire pounded on the door.

"RAVEN RAVEN RAVEN RAVEN RA - OOMPH!" She fell throught the door, and landed beside Raven's feet.

"Yes?" asked Raven.

"Raven, I was wondering if you would go to the... you know... _mall_...?"

"Oh... you mean the _mall_."

"Yes, the _mall_."

"So the _mall_?"

"Yes, the _mall_."

"Oh, OK."

"Let us... _go_."

Five minutes later...

"Starfire, how'd we get here so quickly? We didn't even walk out of our rooms."

"No clue, Friend Raven."

"Oh. Let us go to the... you know... _place_."

"Oh, yes, the _place_."

They walked to the _place_.

Which happened to be Victoria's Secret.

"Oooh! Raven! Let us buy many undergarments so we get a pink dog!"

"Whatever."

"Ooh, Raven. Do you think that _he'll _like this?"

"Dunno."

"How about this?"

"Dunno."

"This?"

"Dunno."

"What about _this?_"

She was holding up a frilly pink thong.

"Starfire, who's _he_ again?"

"You know... him... the male... guy... person... thingy... _Robin_?"

"Oooooh, _him_."

"Yes."

"OK, ew."

"Ew what?"

"Starfire, don't you think buying Robin a thong is going a little overboard?"

"No."

"Oh. OK then."

Silence.

"Starfire, do you think I should get... him... the male... guy... person... thingy..._ Beast Boy_... something?"

"If you really feel that way about him."

"OK."

Silence.

"Starfire, how about this green one?"

"Ooh, yes! Oh, and how about this red one?"

"Yeah. How about this?"

"Or this?"

"Or this?"

"Or this?"

"Or this?"

"Or this?"

"Or this?"

"Or this?"

"Or this?"

"Or this?"

"Or this?"

"Or this?"

"Or this?"

"Or this?"

"Starfire?"

"Yes?"

"Shut up."

"OK."

"You know, you should just buy them all."

"Good point! Ooh, and here is a few I picked out for _Beast Boy_."

"Oh... um... thanks..."

"Starfire?"

"Yes?"

"Don't you think it's kind of scary that all we ever do when we go here is buy underwear for Beast Boy and Robin?"

"No. Do you?"

"No. Just asking."

"Raven?"

"Yeah?"

"May we buy these things? I want to get my pink dog now."

"OK."

They bought the merchandise, and left. A few hours later, it was time to go to bed.

Robin, being the perverted nutjob he is, decided to look at what Starfire bought. He snuck into the living room, and began prodding at things in the dark to help him see where he was going.

"Ow!" he cried as he tripped over a bag. He clapped at hand over his mouth, and looked to see what he had tripped on.

It was Starfire's bag.

He opened it, and blindly took out the contents.

He pulled out a frilly pink thong. There was a tag attached to it.

_"Dear Robin," _it read. _"Being the perverted nutjob you are, I figured that you might find this while sneaking around in the middle of the night looking for what Raven and I bought. Love, Starfire._" Robin looked at the thong in bewilderment.

"Am I really _that_ fat?"

"Yes, you are," said Starfire, smugly turning on the lights.

"ACK! I'M BLIND!"

"Figures," said Starfire, rolling her eyes.

Author's Note: Yes, Starfire was very OOC. But that's what childish fics are for, right? More reviews, and another chapter will be released!


	17. Robin and Spinach

Chapter Seventeen: The Real Reason Robin Hates Spinach

One day Robin was hungry. So he went into the kitchen. But when he opened the mold-infested refridgerator, the cupboards, and every other food-storing INANIMATE OBJECT.

"Oh, I'm so _hungry_!" he whimpered, rubbing his aching stomach. "Ooh... so... hungry... need... hey, spinach!" He noted a can of spinach on the top shelf of one of the cupboards.

Once he reached the spinach, after seven hours of falling off a chair to get to the highest shelf he realised he didn't have a can opener.

He was mad.

He was furious.

He was fuming.

And that's when his head blew up.

No, joking. Jeez, you people get so worked up about these things.

He mashed the can of spinach.

He smashed it.

He ground it into a little ball using his bare hands, and jumped on hit.

And then the lid popped off.

Robin, covered in spinach and bits of paper from the can that read, "SPINACH: IT'S GOOD FOR YOUR COLON!"

Seething, he gobbled up the spinach in one bite.

He grinned kookily, and said, "Spinach ni-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ice..."

But he forgot one thing.

To look at the expiration date.

"BLECH!"

No, he didn't throw up. He just went, "BLECH!"

Hey, what can I tell you, it's fun!

Then he threw up.

On a random stage...

"Remeber, kids, always look at the expiration date!" cried Beast Boy.

"Oh, and... um... brush your teeth! And be good to your parents!" said Raven.

"Yes, and please, after mumgorlfing all over the floor, CLEAN IT UP!!!" said Starfire, looking at the green Robin.

"And bathe daily! It's for you!" said Cyborg.

Everyone looked at Cyborg.

"Hey, where were you these past few chapters?" asked Beast Boy.

"In my happy place, where the people like me and I live off catnip!" said Cyborg with a foolish grin on his face.

Everyone edged away from Cyborg.

"Hey, guys, come on! You can visit it too! And you can meet my friends, Shmoo the mouse, and Kiki the elephant, and Splee the monkey, and-- hey, where'd they go?"

There was no one except for Robin, laying on the floor twitching with x's as his eyes.

"Hmm.. whatever..." Cyborg snapped his fingers and vanished into his happy place.

Robin just lay there.

Okay...

Come on, Robin... you know you weren't supposed to _eat _the spinach. We just cut to another scene to make it _look_ like you ate the spinach.

YOU MORON! YOU ATE THE SPINACH!

Silence.

Um... guys? A little help?

Camera crew backs away...

Guys? Robin? ANYBODY?

Ooh, look, a mouse! Hi, little mousey...

Author's Note: Okay, yeah, stupidest chapter yet... oh well.


	18. The Titans and Tom Cruise and Gameshows

Chapter Eighteen: The Real Reason The Titans Hate Gameshows

One day all of the Titans were sitting on the couch, doing nothing. At all. Except for breathing.

Until a big black hole opened up beneath them, and the entire couch and the Titans fell through.

Five seconds later...

The Titans had landed in what looked like a school auditorium, crowded with kids from grades 4 to 12. They were all screaming and cheering, and there was some guy standing on the stage wearing a bright red tailcoat. The Titans weren't even remotely fazed by this, and just blinked a few times.

"So... what just happened? And why are we all tied in rope?" asked Beast Boy. Everyone looked down, then up, then around at the school, then at the guy with the red talicoat, and then at Beast Boy.

"I dunno..." they all responded.

Cheering from the kids.

"And's who the heck is the guy with the red tailcoat?" asked Raven.

"O-o-o-o-o-o-o-kay! I'm Tom Cruise, and it's time for..." the man in the red tailcoat began.

"ANNOY THE TEEN TITANS!" screeched the kids.

More cheering.

"Cool! I love your movies..." began Cyborg, who had arrived back from his happy place.

"Okay, where are we?" asked Robin. "And how come we can't break through this rope?"

Everyone nodded, realization smacking them in the face. And it left a big red mark and all of their cheeks (A/N: If you're thinking what I think you're thinking, then you're a pervert...).

"I dunno, it's just ordinary rope," said Tom. "Oh, and you're on the Annoy the Teen Titans Game Show!"

The cheering died down.

Then silence.

"Okaaaaaaaay..." said Raven.

"Well, what do we _do_ on the game show anyway?" asked Beast Boy.

Starfire added, "And I hope it has something to do with mustard!"

Everyone looked at her.

"Sorry," she muttered.

"Well, if you really want to know, we torture you to insanity!" yelled Tom.

Everyone looked at him. The kids cheered.

"Okay, we're on air in... 5..." he began.

"4..."

"3..."

"2..."

"ONE!!!" screamed the kids.

Blinding lights turned on, flashing neon colors. There was a large spotlight, which landed on...

"Whom shall it land on?" asked Tom in a menacing voice.

"Dun dun dun..." added Beast Boy. Raven punched him with her head.

The spotlight landed on... ROBIN!

"Okay, Robin, prepare to be tortured to insanity!" shouted Tom. Robin gulped. He liked being sane.

Some guy with a bowtie untied Robin, dragged him to a chair, and tied him with thicker rope to it. Then he flicked his ear.

"Hey, what'd you do that for?" asked Robin angrily.

"Nothin'," said the guy. He ran away.

"Okay, Robin! Let's bring out the... Say, kids, what do you think we should bring out?" asked Tom.

"THE DIGITIZER!" they screamed.

"Okay, Bruce, bring out the DIGITIZER 5000!" screeched Tom. Robin gulped again.

Bruce Willis brought out a huge TV, and some plugs.

"Now, we will do the extremely painful act of shoving many plugs into your skull!" said Tom.

Robin screamed.

Bruce shoved ten plugs into his skull. It was VERY painful. Mwahahahahaha...

Robin screamed again.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Robin.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!" screamed Tom. "The Digitizer 5000 is now connected to your thoughts. I'm gonna hold up a picture, and what ever you think is gonna show up on that screen over there!" Tom pointed to the Digitizer 5000.

"Ready..."

"Steady..."

"GO!!!" cheered the kids.

Tom held up a picture of squirrel.

The picture on the screen was of Robin running around in circles with a rabid squirrel attached to his butt. By the mouth... ouch...

"Oookay..." said Tom. "Do you know what this means?" he asked. Robin gulped.

"CREAMED CORN!" yelled the kids.

Twenty-one million pounds of creamed corn fell from the sky, and landed with a huge _SPLAT!_ right on Robin's head.

Bruce Willis took a shovel, and picked up Robin out of the creamed corn. He set him down next to Cyborg.

"As for the rest of you, we're just going to cover you in creamed corn too!" said Tom. "Because the chapter's already gone on too long..."

A bazillion pounts of creamed corn come piling down on the other Titans.

The crowd cheers.

"Well... that was awkward..." said Starfire.

Author's Note: I am soooooooooo sorry I haven't updated in, like, forever. I've been swamped with Hebrew School, regular school, and life in general. Keepin' it real, people, just keepin' it real... please review! I'm not gonna update until I get 30 reviews... ooh, yes, tough demand... MWAHAHAHAHA! This just goes to show how controling, expectant, and completely moronic I am... next chapter: The Real Reasn They Never Show Slade's Dreams on a Y-17 Show... so review! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!


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